I adopted Pnyllis in July

I wanted a white boxer

I got Phyllis

I pulled the car over shortly after I left the rescue and sat with her

My first dog

Would she love me? Would I love her?

Why was she so skinny?

Phyllis was scared of the lights on the walls her first night

Phyllis was sick

We went to the vets

They couldn’t cure the diarrhea

I took her to a psychic

I took her to a chiropractor

Phyllis knew how to speak, sit, and roll over

Sometimes she would flop down and roll over into chairs and tables without being asked

She thought she could get a treat that way

Phyllis had seizures

We tried dry food and wet food. Weird diets that made her gag. Diets that made me gag.

I cooked whole chickens for her for a year

Still – the dog had diarrhea

Phyllis jumped out of a 3 story window once

Phyllis wore pearls

Phyllis wore pink angel wings and walked down Castro St.

She had a collection of silk scarfs

Phyllis was kicked out of her first two play groups because she beat up some of the other dogs

And because she ate garbage

Phyllis was stubborn

Strangers would pass us on the street and say “Hello Phyllis”

More people knew Phyllis than knew me

Phyllis liked to eat out of the cat box.

And the garbage – and the cat food bowl – off the counters – out of donut boxes

Phyllis could find something delicious to eat on any street in the city

She once can jogging out from behind a bush with a warm loaf of bread

Phyllis wagged her tail. She wagged her tail at the vet. She wagged her tail at the park. She wagged her tail when I yelled at her. She wagged her tail when she got shots. She wagged her tail in her sleep.

Phyllis had her toenails painted pink

One time she almost died choking on a stupid rawhide

Phyllis wore bows on Christmas

Phyllis loved her friends Shawn and Kevin because they had a special drawer with treats for her

She wore pink boa’s to parties

Phyllis was happy. 

The happiest.

Phyllis had accidents in the house

Every time I turned around – I was grabbing paper towels and 409

My roommates yelled at me

My friends yelled at me

My family yelled at me

But Phyllis kept wagging her tail

Phyllis ruined carpets, rugs, hard wood, dog beds and almost everything I’ve ever owned

Phyllis stopped being scared on the lights on the walls

She stopped being scared of anything.

She was happy

Today Phyllis died. 

Tomorrow will be the first day in 12 years she won’t wag her tail

      I want her back.

I want her to wear the pink boa again so I can hug her and tell her she’s the best girl.

She was.

She was the best girl.