On Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 I lost my beloved Gonzo. This is for him…

FOR GONZO

(AKA: Gonzo-Bonzo-Bean, Chunky Monkey, Chunky Butt, My Little Kidney Bean, My Little Side Winder, Pookie and Muffin Butt)

My Dear Gonzo,

Our story all began a little over four years ago when a fellow volunteer from the shelter knew I was looking for a dog and told me about a dog at BRLA that needed a home. Her name was Peaches and she had a very sad story so I said I’d go that weekend and adopt her. She was a very nice dog and after spending some time with her I began filling out the adoption papers. That is when I saw you. You were tied to the corner street sign getting a bath and it was love at first sight. I felt sorry for Peaches but I knew it had to be you. When I told Jan, you remember her, she was the nice lady helping me with the paper work. You also met her when we went for a walk a couple of months ago with her dog Cowboy. You liked Cowboy! Anyway, when I told her I wanted you instead she got a little quiet but said OK and we did the paper work. Later I found out the reason she got so quiet was because apparently you were returned for growling at people and you were considered kind of sketchy.

Well I got you home and we bonded right away and I knew you were very special. There was one problem however… you frightened everyone else you met, except for your Dad. You charged people when they came to our house and you growled at people on our walks. My sweet baby boy was a terror!

Now enters Andrea, remember her? That little bit of a woman who was recommended for aggressive behavior problems. Well I’ll always be grateful for her because she helped turn you around and taught me what I needed to do for you. I still giggle when I picture your little face when you charged her and she dropped you to the ground like a sack of potatoes! You had finally met your match. After just one session with her and my learning to become the top dog you relaxed and became the lovable dog you were born to be.

Everyday for the past four years you brought so much joy to me Gonzo. Here are just a few of the many special things I’ll always cherish about you….

Your bark always made me smile. Remember how our neighbor called you Mike Tyson because you looked so big and tough and then you would let out a goofy little bark. That’s my boy!

I loved how you’d hang out under our bed. Your cute little chunky butt would stick out and that little stubby tail would go a hundred miles an hour when I’d call your name. I swear you could make smoothies with that thing. You loved to hide your toys under there too. In fact your green squeaky ball is still there. I think I’ll leave it there for now….

I loved how you’d want me to chase you with your toys. You’d get one in your mouth and show it to me and I could see that “Come and get me” look in your eyes. Then you’d run away and I’d chase you around the house with that little tail of yours just going crazy.

I loved how you’d greet me. You would turn into a kidney bean and run up to me sideways. Then you’d do spins in the air, so silly you were, so full of pure joy.

I loved our walks together everyday. There was something so sacred and bonding about our walks together. There was no separation, we became as one. I know many people won’t understand but there was something so special about our walks together. No words, just being there in the moment together. Even at the end when you couldn’t walk very far it was just about doing it together. You used to make me laugh when you’d put your leash in your mouth and run around the house. Then you’d jump in the air and do spins. You always made me smile.

You could really eat, you know! And fast too! Anytime anyone was in the kitchen there you were. “C’mon, C‘mon, C’mon, pleeeease feed me something, anything!!!” That was you.

You loved going to the baseball field and running around. You’d just run back and forth, back and forth with those big lips flopping up and down. Pure joy…

You loved rides in the car. I can still see you in the front seat with me. You’d look over at me and then look out the front window as if saying, “This is cool Mom!” It didn’t matter where we went or for how long, you just loved to go.

When I brought Snuggles and Precious home you were so good. You didn’t even mind when they’d take over one of your beds. (Just like a woman!) I could tell you weren’t thrilled with having sisters but you were still good to them. And then there was Rocky. Thank you for accepting him as part of the family. He was so frightened and unsure when he came to live with us but you were such a good big brother. Rocky would look to you to see what you were doing and how you were doing it and then copy you. Even when he would sit on you or try to stand over you, you’d just calmly get up and move or just look up at me like, “Mom, please do something”. I know you liked Rocky and I’m glad you got to have a brother in your last few months. It made me so happy to see you playing and having fun with him. You seemed happy too. He has taken on many of your endearing little habits. So you will live on in many ways my sweet little boy.

You have been my best and truest little friend in the world. You would always want to be with me and made sure you always knew where I was in the house. I knew because I always knew where you were too. We were bonded, you and I.

You have been a great dog, not just good, I mean really GREAT! So calm, patient and loving.

To say I love you can’t even begin to express the depth of what I feel for you.

You were a gift to me and have filled my life and my heart in so many ways. To say I’ll miss you doesn’t even begin to express the loss I feel. I will miss you everyday. And when I think of you my heart will fill with sadness and longing. It will also fill with love and gratitude for you have become part of me, forever.

The day you came home with me I made a promise to be there for you until the end, no matter what. Until your last breath you will be held and loved and told how special you are. It is the very least I can do for you after everything you’ve given to me.

Thank you for giving so much to me and making me a better doggie Mom, I am so utterly grateful that you became a part of my life.

You are suffering so and it’s time for you to leave me now but you and I are bonded for eternity my friend, no separation will ever exist between us.

Good bye for now my dearest friend.... I’ll just pretend you’re under the bed……

Love,

Mom